The Maniac Savant: September 2008

2008-09-04

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Kasai REX (AKA Altered Beast AKA The Last Living Dinosaur of the Congo): Baltimore, MD, United States; i often go weeks at a time without eating or sleeping (though i require an ample flow of combustible liquids and complex chemical compounds)... As a rule, I won't smoke a pack of cigarettes costing less than 50.00 USD... I get my government recommended cardio (big ups to Slick Willy, The Governator, and C. Everett Koop) by slyly setting forest fires with dying cigarettes of high pedigree, waiting no less than six minutes, and then running suicides (with a 100 kilo bronze blunderbuss strapped to my back) through the blazing labyrinth, taking time to chop down robust, glowing oaks before they're reduced to a greyscale pyre, the fervor of it all transforming me into a bad, bad monster. Yes. A sweat-soaked, glistening, sinewy monster that hears and sees things that no being, living or dead, ever should...

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