Interstella 5555: Part Three

when i was maybe five years old, my mother bought me this super mario bros. handheld video game. this was a few years before i'd gotten that good NES, but i was way too young to have a gameboy. so to placate my need to feed (enhanced by asshole older cousins who never let me play mario when i visited), she got me this game. the thing looked and felt like a brick and clamped shut to avoid accidental openings i guess. clamshell setup, like today's gameboy/gamegirl.

my time with it was short, to say the least.

one day, i was sitting there, beasting out in front of the tv with the stronger of the mario twins, climbing up a vine or going down a pipe or some shit like that, when in a fit of excitement, i snapped the game shut in my hands. right on the tip of my dick.

now don't ask how or why my penis was exposed while i was gaming, as i don't really remember myself. i do know, however, that i was five, and around this time in my life, i particularly enjoyed "being free." basically my euphemism for being buck naked at inappropriate times. something i should definitely get back into p.s.

i just remember the game clamping down on me like some kind of super-pincer. fucking my world up. not letting go of my foreskin for a while, and freed only when my embarrassed and visibly upset father came to the rescue. needless to say i never wanted to see that handheld ever again.

anyway, now that you have the image of a naked five year old boy and his wang in your head, enjoy le Daft Punk suckas.

Interstella 5555: Part One

if you needed any further evidence of the beauty of youtube, this is it: interstella 5555, in its entirety, albeit divided into parts. but hey, thieves can't be choosers right?

released at the end of '03, this dvd was an animated complement to Daft Punk's astronomical Discovery album (for the dilettantes, it's the one with one more time on it). with pictures by Leiji Matsumoto and sounds by Mssrs. Bangalter and de Homen-Christo, it was nothing short of a masterpiece, detailing the abduction and rescue of an interstellar pop band. it was nothing short of cross-media marketing genius as well, with the DVD/Discovery combo being parlayed into a lucrative vinyl figure racket.

if i were those green cats in the video, i mean if i were abducted (a euphemism of course for getting your ass snatched), i would def develop stockholm syndrome. i mean how could you not? what would bring a human being to the point where he or she dubiously procures another human being the way i dubiously procure a cheap bottle of vodka while the bartender's not looking? they're just so pitiful and helpless, those kidnappers. i thinks they be needin a hug, right quick.

and as for the video, i know what you're thinking. fuck you kasai, i can just go on youtube and watch the entire thing on my own.

but the loose nail gets the hammer my little mogwai, so stay close to me now, lest you be picked off by the laser-eyed werewookies that shoot killer bees from their gnarled fingertips. i'll keep you safe. plus you watch the parts here, and you get to bear witness to my brilliance. oh it just shines ever so brightly now!

i mean have you read fucken youtube comments lately? rubbish! you're better off crashing at my place. why are you looking at me like that? c'mon. c'mon! don't worry, i'm not a creep or anything like that baby. i'm not some creep predator ok?!

or am i? i don't remember things so well since the electro-shock therapy started ramping up.