"a woman is better because a woman can suck your dick and a donkey can't": Part ONE

in case any of you ever have to testify for/against me, i am an out and out pervert. just giving you a heads up on the inevitable perjury tip.

por ejemplo, i think 'cumshot' is the most awesome compound word in the english language.

i truly believe that 'bukkake' is japanese for porn with redeeming artistic value.

i love, love, love midget porn! esp. interracial midget porn.

asking girls 'what's up with the asshole?' on the first date is now both my morals and my ethics. braydon szyfranski style!

and i'm strongly considering saying yes to my boy JPot's demand that we start a porn site. an idea we've bandied about since high school. he's in with some of the BangBros. crew somehow, so all it takes is a word it seems. hmmmm. i do need a new creative outlet.

sure, i'm a bit of a sexual deviant. fine. you got me. happy?

but there are a few things i just can't get with. namely, necrophilia, pedophilia, scat shit (redundermifflin?), and bestiality. there are other "sex acts," that i find at least somewhat disagreeable, but these four are completely unfuckwitable in my book. as they should be for any rational being. and if someone as fucked up as me can avoid them, there's hope yet for the lot of ya.

that being said, seeing this VICE TV ep entitled "Asses of the Carribean" was truly some of the most mind-blowing shit i've seen while not on hallucinogens. i was totally expecting hardbodied femininas in booty shorts, workin it out, ya know?

nope nope nope. not gonna do it.

entire generations of Colombian men fucking donkeys (and enjoying it) because the female population of the staunchly Catholic drugbasket that is Colombia don't put out til their thrity? fuck naw son. i appreciate cultural differences and variant norms, but jesus.

literally. jesus, you fuck!

look what you and your cronies are doing to people. come down here, be a man, and straighten this shit out. it's the least you could do. and if not for the men of Cartagena, Colombia, do it for the poor donkeys. won't you please?

"a woman is better because a woman can suck your dick and a donkey can't": Part TWO

gentlemen. if you had to suffer six years of blue balls, what the fuck would you do? that is the question. you're getting closer to the horror now. ease toward the light. gently now.

and apparently, just for future reference, donkey pussy is mad tight son. that ill na na.

"a woman is better because a woman can suck your dick and a donkey can't": Part THREE

for those of you that place homosexuality higher on the threat level chart of sexual terrorism than bestiality (surely none of my readers?), then maybe you can take comfort in this woeful trend. sexual repression in the name of arbitrary beliefs can be a good thing, huh? plus, if the rural legend that fucking a donkey makes your dick bigger is true, i guess it'll be the men and boys of Cartagena who will be having the last laugh, eh?

and p.s. the end is not for the faint of heart. but twif your heart was all that faint, you wouldn't have made it this far. nor would you be reading my god damn blog. peace.

i am the immortal eye of god, collapsing in upon myself for all to see and hear and feel and touch and breathe and live and taste and smell and think.

YouTube user RuneOfTruth writes:
"Once again I don't think many of you even attempted to search LSD on wiki. I'm not supporting the use of LSD but what I was trying to get across is that you can't die from taking LSD. If someone died from a bad trip its because they had mental issues to begin with. And honestly how many people do you know are in a drug rehab because of ACID eh? Yeah thats what I thought...usually alcohol, cause one bad trip with this stuff and you stay away from it. Trust me."

can't die from it, huh? haha. yeah. ok. spoken like a man of stable mind. spoken like an asshole who doesn't understand how dark it can get and how deep it really goes. spoken like a spectator.

and how many people do you know in rehab period, Rune? you'd be surprised what cats get committed for these days. there was a guy in my group who was into freebasing pulverized paint thinner at one time in his sad, desperate life. and as much as i'd like to trust you and take your word for it that one bad trip will deter one from repeated use, i have it on good authority that i go through phases where i actively seek out bad trips.

maybe i'll watch hyperviolent horror movies (muted of course) on an endless loop. blare some really intimidating idm or industrial music. maybe write notes to myself before the trip starts that say "you're dead!" or "how could you have killed them?!" and leave them around the room for me to find later. always makes for a good time.

i am not alone in this quest.

as for the video.

i think my favorite part has to be when he proclaims that taking acid can be "more important than reading the bible six times or becoming a Pope." not once. six times! becoming a Pope he said!

fucken awesome.

you see that you fork-tongued zealot swine? even a child can recognize the arbitrary nature of your sacred books.

they're just that. books.

an overwrought moral guideline from two millenia ago crafted most likely by a group of, well, zealots, who probably didn't like what they saw around them and felt compelled to make a change, no matter the externalities. certainly not a reason to kill anyone, or sacrifice anything, or totally skirt the bounds of reason and sanity.

this kid's got perspective, and is hipper to the game than about 97% of so-called "adults" at any given time. and the other kid's just as beast, even if he isn't much of a talker. and if a potent psychoactive hallucinogenic compound is what it takes to get you miserable fucks to turn around and quit your wacky ways, then so be it. lsd as a core component of the school lunch program then, eh? mild doses administered to the milk of every boy and girl. milk does a body good. acid does a consciousness weird.

i'd really like to have a sit down with these little fuckers, really trip the lights fantastic with them. i've blown blunts with two 78 year old men, so dropping tabs with 10 year old hippies doesn't seem so far fetched. a man can dream, can't he?