the power of the internet. web 2.0 working for you!

because it's there, and i wanted to let you know it's there. and because i haven't been 100% irreverent in a while. there is no redeeming value to this. just go with the flow.

Interstella 5555: Part Three

when i was maybe five years old, my mother bought me this super mario bros. handheld video game. this was a few years before i'd gotten that good NES, but i was way too young to have a gameboy. so to placate my need to feed (enhanced by asshole older cousins who never let me play mario when i visited), she got me this game. the thing looked and felt like a brick and clamped shut to avoid accidental openings i guess. clamshell setup, like today's gameboy/gamegirl.

my time with it was short, to say the least.

one day, i was sitting there, beasting out in front of the tv with the stronger of the mario twins, climbing up a vine or going down a pipe or some shit like that, when in a fit of excitement, i snapped the game shut in my hands. right on the tip of my dick.

now don't ask how or why my penis was exposed while i was gaming, as i don't really remember myself. i do know, however, that i was five, and around this time in my life, i particularly enjoyed "being free." basically my euphemism for being buck naked at inappropriate times. something i should definitely get back into p.s.

i just remember the game clamping down on me like some kind of super-pincer. fucking my world up. not letting go of my foreskin for a while, and freed only when my embarrassed and visibly upset father came to the rescue. needless to say i never wanted to see that handheld ever again.

anyway, now that you have the image of a naked five year old boy and his wang in your head, enjoy le Daft Punk suckas.

where are my FUCKING mushrooms!

just thought i'd whet the appetites of those curious to know what mario, princess peach , and luigi are up to right now.

fucking nypd.