"a woman is better because a woman can suck your dick and a donkey can't": Part ONE

in case any of you ever have to testify for/against me, i am an out and out pervert. just giving you a heads up on the inevitable perjury tip.

por ejemplo, i think 'cumshot' is the most awesome compound word in the english language.

i truly believe that 'bukkake' is japanese for porn with redeeming artistic value.

i love, love, love midget porn! esp. interracial midget porn.

asking girls 'what's up with the asshole?' on the first date is now both my morals and my ethics. braydon szyfranski style!

and i'm strongly considering saying yes to my boy JPot's demand that we start a porn site. an idea we've bandied about since high school. he's in with some of the BangBros. crew somehow, so all it takes is a word it seems. hmmmm. i do need a new creative outlet.

sure, i'm a bit of a sexual deviant. fine. you got me. happy?

but there are a few things i just can't get with. namely, necrophilia, pedophilia, scat shit (redundermifflin?), and bestiality. there are other "sex acts," that i find at least somewhat disagreeable, but these four are completely unfuckwitable in my book. as they should be for any rational being. and if someone as fucked up as me can avoid them, there's hope yet for the lot of ya.

that being said, seeing this VICE TV ep entitled "Asses of the Carribean" was truly some of the most mind-blowing shit i've seen while not on hallucinogens. i was totally expecting hardbodied femininas in booty shorts, workin it out, ya know?

nope nope nope. not gonna do it.

entire generations of Colombian men fucking donkeys (and enjoying it) because the female population of the staunchly Catholic drugbasket that is Colombia don't put out til their thrity? fuck naw son. i appreciate cultural differences and variant norms, but jesus.

literally. jesus, you fuck!

look what you and your cronies are doing to people. come down here, be a man, and straighten this shit out. it's the least you could do. and if not for the men of Cartagena, Colombia, do it for the poor donkeys. won't you please?

"a woman is better because a woman can suck your dick and a donkey can't": Part TWO

gentlemen. if you had to suffer six years of blue balls, what the fuck would you do? that is the question. you're getting closer to the horror now. ease toward the light. gently now.

and apparently, just for future reference, donkey pussy is mad tight son. that ill na na.

"a woman is better because a woman can suck your dick and a donkey can't": Part THREE

for those of you that place homosexuality higher on the threat level chart of sexual terrorism than bestiality (surely none of my readers?), then maybe you can take comfort in this woeful trend. sexual repression in the name of arbitrary beliefs can be a good thing, huh? plus, if the rural legend that fucking a donkey makes your dick bigger is true, i guess it'll be the men and boys of Cartagena who will be having the last laugh, eh?

and p.s. the end is not for the faint of heart. but twif your heart was all that faint, you wouldn't have made it this far. nor would you be reading my god damn blog. peace.