atlantis to interzone! and step on it!

baby, ya know i'm here to keep those dendritic arbors bushy.

just heed the mandate.
i'll feed the mandrake.

RELAX, JUMP TO IT, CASE YOU WANNA GO DO IT!

i know. my shouting and pop culture references won't get you there. but you gotta at least TRY!?!?

c'mon smooth operator. take her by the hand, gently now. succumb to the will of that wild, sometimes wistful WonderWaif, a drug-fueled pixie (stick) made of pure light and energy and hope and chaos. and Choice.

"i-wish-they-all-could-be-Cali-for-nya-girlsssss!"

don't follow her too closely though. she'll show you The Way to Dusty Death, to be sure. and i hear there's no coming back. once you've bought your ticket to the shitshow that is.

non-refundable lifebloodbodysextruth. sorry kid. cumpnee policy.

and we're always clear. like crystal Pepsi.

could you please pick your synapses up off the tile before you go. ya know, i haven't seen your breed around these parts in a while. the "valley of lost children"-variety i mean.

but i'm here to help. to guide. to train. to bewilder by means of a cattle prod, pliers, a blowtorch, and lots of bourbon.

monitor that progress.

wanting? trying? succeeding?

good.

nothin bleeds like SUCCESS SUCCESS SUCCESS SUCCESS SUCCESS!

insane in the membrane.

i've been getting hounded by my case worker for the last few days for not going to class. but for all the hounds, all the naggers (i see you randy marsh), i say only that you ignore the autodidactic route i've been taking recently.

sure, i've been lying in bed in a catatonic state sick with fever and malaise. sure, all the textbooks are piled beside the dresser, covered in layers of dust. sure, sure, sure. but a wise man once said, education is all the things you remember after schooling is done. or something like that. two pennies for whoever can identify that wise man. godspeed.

yeah, it's really been about life's education lately, seeking out things that otherwise wouldn't be found. to a certain extent.

for instance.

today, i listened to an interview with renowned american neurologist oliver sacks. the year was 1987, and at the time, he was hyping a book called 'the man who mistook his wife for a hat.' quirky title to be sure, but the premise is a particularly striking one.

a professor at a prestigious music academy. suddenly, our prof can't identify his students just by looking at them. yet, when he hears them talk or sing, he recognizes them instantly. things get worse, as everyday objects lose their visual meaning. hence the title. this poor bastard actually thought that his wife's head was a hat and reached for it accordingly. literally trapped in a world devoid of the visual cues that all human beings take for granted.

now don't be mistaken; he was hardly demented and remained a talented musician throughout. and according to dr. sacks, it would be music and sound that proved to be the best prescription for this condition, labeled visual agnosia.

in another case, a virile, sound-minded young man rolled out of bed one day, shrieking in horror, claiming that he awoke to find a leg, someone else's leg, in his bed. yet when he sprung out of bed to escape it, it was attached to his body in some ungodly way. he literally saw his own leg as some sort of god-forsaken demon appendage.

it turned out that he had a metastasizing brain tumor that had destroyed the part of the brain responsible for the visual/sensory representation of one's leg.

all of this of course, speaks to an important point. though the human brain has allowed us to dominate our epoch and achieve some truly great things, it really is our own worst enemy. read a newspaper and you'll see what i'm talking about.