Suck Those Toes. She Off That Diet Coke, She On That Coke Diet.

To TimeMasheen...

If I go along with this whole Club Super Sexe vibe, you gotta promise me and mine that things will end up nearly, if not entirely, identical to what's depicted in this "screamo electronica" video. Bitches getting choked out, rented Ranges, poppin' bottles of sparkling cider, and more fake E than you can shake a giant black rubber cock at. Ya heard me!? Make 'em say unh.

Like the '80s never happened.

But on the real, this is everything that's wrong with society today. To think that the people involved with this shit will someday grow into decision-makers or managers of some sort maybe. Possibly even parents. Actually, wait, yeah def parents. You see that one Asian broad? Total teen preggo stat. Chalk it up. I would bet my unborn daughter's life on the fact that these fucks are either from Jersey (how many Jersey Shore soundtracks is this shit on?), Vegas/New Mexico/Phoenix or Orlando, home of the Backstreet Boys.


Thanks-Shivving. Double Consonant Double Penetration FTW.

"Thanks for the wild turkey and
the passenger pigeons, destined
to be shit out through wholesome
American guts.

Thanks for a continent to despoil
and poison.

Thanks for Indians to provide a
modicum of challenge and

Thanks for vast herds of bison to
kill and skin leaving the
carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves
and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream,
To vulgarize and to falsify until
the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For nigger-killin' lawmen,
feelin' their notches.

For decent church-goin' women,
with their mean, pinched, bitter,
evil faces.

Thanks for "Kill a Queer for
Christ" stickers.

Thanks for laboratory AIDS.

Thanks for Prohibition and the
war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where
nobody's allowed to mind the
own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks.

Yes, thanks for all the
memories-- all right let's see
your arms!

You always were a headache and
you always were a bore.

Thanks for the last and greatest
betrayal of the last and greatest
of human dreams."


E Pluribus Unum, Or, The Ruler's Back.

"Nahh, see, cuz if they clip Obama, Ima just be on my roof with an AK and a pound of weed, pickin' off white people... It's not like that shit in the '60s. Munhfuckas ain't have guns back then, so they just got to smashin' and burnin' shit. Every nigga in the hood got a strap now!" 
-My Barber, about two weeks ago

You probably want or need something brilliant here, but you've got to forgive me if I come off as uninspired. After what can only be described as the most harrowing year of my life, what lies before me and you lot but the culmination of the 2008 presidential campaign... I can fully admit to playing the cynic, the Grinch Who Stole The Election (or will that be Johnny Mac?) as it were, during this epic(ly boring) journey. But who can blame me... the guy I was adamant about voting for months back ended up being a philandering shithead liar. 

So it goes. 

Over the past year or so, I have seen the very manifestation of white guilt in the form of Obama stickers plastered onto the backs of every Volvo and Volkswagen throughout this great state of mine. I have seen a black community completely unaware of (or unwilling to acknowledge?) the phenomenon of immobilism(e) and its place in modern Western politics. And I have seen "them" all draw a blank on how thoroughly evil the Amerikkkuh Machine can be when it wants what it wants (if the past eight-or 80 years-haven't proven this fact to you, nothing will). Time to find out exactly how masochistic this great nation of ours truly is, yeah?

"And though it seems Heaven-sent, we ain't ready to have a black president..." 

We Shall See.