2007-06-21

go with christ brah. go with christ.


this is a rather binary situation we have here, innit?

we have those that i know personally telling me i need "help." then we have those casual yet distant frequenters of the site, upset by my esoteric and drug-addled approach, that tell me i need "help."

i will never tire of the latter. i actually welcome the latter with open arms. the former just makes me want to torture some small animals.

maybe i need to go with christ?

but someone was telling me that he's really clingy. word? i don't know if i need that right now.

maybe if it was a T-9000X TechnoChrist SE, with like lasers for eyes, and a microwave built into his chest. complete with a 120hz refresh rate, 9 gbps internet connection and a 90 terabyte hard drive in his forearm loaded with niche porn. and a gold chain that had like 10 ipod nanos in different colors all up on it. and maybe if his/her halo consisted of E pills. hovering E pills. and as one of his miracles, he'd sneeze, and an eightball of polvo would magically appear. and there's little better on this earth than free, magical polvo, i can assure you.

i'd even take a DinoChrist. as long as it wasn't a malevolent, carnivorous DinoChrist. there's no overpowering that reptilian brain of yours my lord and savior.

they'll say "go with christ brah. go with christ."

yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah YEAH!

but my mommy told me not to go with strangers. and you are STRANGE! i can't go with you. unless you know the password. and surely you know the password, being an omniscient supreme being and all. so we shouldn't have a problem, right? just go ahead and gimme the password and we'll be on our way to salvation.

(TechknowitallChrist parts lips) thaaaaat's it dear.

wait. wait! where are you going? where-?

(T.C. bounces like a superball)

yeah. uh huh. run like a little bitch. run like you always do. just like your father. always runnin when shit gets weird.

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