"a woman is better because a woman can suck your dick and a donkey can't": Part ONE

in case any of you ever have to testify for/against me, i am an out and out pervert. just giving you a heads up on the inevitable perjury tip.

por ejemplo, i think 'cumshot' is the most awesome compound word in the english language.

i truly believe that 'bukkake' is japanese for porn with redeeming artistic value.

i love, love, love midget porn! esp. interracial midget porn.

asking girls 'what's up with the asshole?' on the first date is now both my morals and my ethics. braydon szyfranski style!

and i'm strongly considering saying yes to my boy JPot's demand that we start a porn site. an idea we've bandied about since high school. he's in with some of the BangBros. crew somehow, so all it takes is a word it seems. hmmmm. i do need a new creative outlet.

sure, i'm a bit of a sexual deviant. fine. you got me. happy?

but there are a few things i just can't get with. namely, necrophilia, pedophilia, scat shit (redundermifflin?), and bestiality. there are other "sex acts," that i find at least somewhat disagreeable, but these four are completely unfuckwitable in my book. as they should be for any rational being. and if someone as fucked up as me can avoid them, there's hope yet for the lot of ya.

that being said, seeing this VICE TV ep entitled "Asses of the Carribean" was truly some of the most mind-blowing shit i've seen while not on hallucinogens. i was totally expecting hardbodied femininas in booty shorts, workin it out, ya know?

nope nope nope. not gonna do it.

entire generations of Colombian men fucking donkeys (and enjoying it) because the female population of the staunchly Catholic drugbasket that is Colombia don't put out til their thrity? fuck naw son. i appreciate cultural differences and variant norms, but jesus.

literally. jesus, you fuck!

look what you and your cronies are doing to people. come down here, be a man, and straighten this shit out. it's the least you could do. and if not for the men of Cartagena, Colombia, do it for the poor donkeys. won't you please?

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