2007-04-03

So I Says To Him, So I Says, You Lick The Barrel of This Gun Like You Lick Your Man's Dick. Then, Maybe I'll Let You Live to See the Sun Come Up.


yeah so if you haven't been paying attention, there's this sort of postmodern arms race going on. only we're not dealing in plutonium or warheads or propaganda this time around. nope. we're trying to pierce the heavens. and admittedly, amurrrica is getting its ass handed to it, so maybe "we" is inappropriate language (but the "freedom tower" 9/11 memorial seems to be our entry into the field of 43; seems we didn't learn our lesson from that day). Taipei 101, in Taiwan, stands as the world's tallest building, and at just over 1,600 feet, dwarfs our bitch ass sears tower and empire state building by several yao mings.

perhaps the most striking thing about said race is that the current victors are all of asian descent. shanghai, kuala lumpur, hong kong. there's something happenin here, and what ain't exactly clear.

well, actually it's pretty clear. the proliferation of these mammoth phalluses penetrating the virgin clouds over asian skies is easily explained. allow me to get a bit ridiculous here. east asians, like all humans, are victims of their physical appearances. given an average male height somewhere in the 5'6" or 5'7" region, it's no coincidence that the world's tallest buildings are mostly in asia. compensating. kinda like the way the needle-dicked amurrrican male drives an overlarge SUV with a 6" lift and 35" tires, or collects guns by the bowlful (think gun rack on the baby's crib). and speaking of needle dicks, therein lies my next exhibit. we all know that asian guys aren't the most impressively hung motherfuckers on earth (asian friends of mine, male and female, admit this, so it's not stereotyping fuckhead). so therefore, as with OUR guns and tonka trucks, the east asian male materialist is forced by nature to devastate the skyline with a gargantuan skyscraper, proving to the world that he's really worth a damn.

sure, i know what you're saying. engineering advancements, cutting edge, asia's the new frontier. blah, blah, blah. biology people. psychology. more primordial things at work. all men wish to be gods. it's in our blood.

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