happy happy joy joy!

i was thinking...
if i were to commit suicide by hanging myself (which i would never do because i don't think that shit's foolproof, and i would feel pretty stupid if i was just hanging there and my landlord found me, flailing like a fish on the hook), i would totally set up shop right by the front door. so when the cops or whatever respond to the stench of my rotting corpse and they find the door is locked and junk, they'll do what cops are known to do pretty well.

they'll bust the door down.

but little would they know that my body would be but inches from the newly-broken door jamb. hahahaha!

hopefully some burly, barrel-chested, meathead Irish cop would shoulder the door down out of frustration. just enough force to loosen me from my moorings so i do a nice flop onto the hardwood floor. hahahaha! that would be fucken highlarious!

haha! jesus. i intend to alarm. it's all i'm here for really.

hopefully the paper would include all the details of the high-ground hijinks. and i'd like some fish imagery thank you please. censorship's a bitch.