Vote BubbRubb/Lil Sis '08

what? you think i'm fucking kidding? why not turn 2008 into Cali's recall election? i mean, Bush and Co. have fucked up pretty big, but have we really done our (electoral) worst?

i don't think soooooooo. send in the clowns!

since the upcoming presidential election is already proving to be quite unique (read: ridiculous), why not shove that fist all the way up our collective asses? get it in there nice and deep baby. lose your watch in that shit! we wanna feel your elbow bone and shit.

can you imagine what BubbRubb's first "100 days" would be like? he'd make FDR look like a fucken bow-legged, stuttering kid with Down's Syndrome, a cleft pallet, and a tiny dick! so small. soooo smallll. almost microscopic.

yeah, yeah, i know he really had polio. i'm being sensitive. he was great. yeahyeahyeah. fuck off mom/dad.

back to the matter of the day.

President Rubb's first order of business would surely be installing those bama-ass whistles (shown in the video above) in the tailpipes of all federal vehicles. that gangsta shit!

"it's like an alarm clock!"

exactly!

and promptness and expediency are the keys to success in Washington. or at least in BubbRubb's Washington they will be. because when President Rubb says he needs a new crack stem to replace the one he broke while celebrating hitting 4-5-6 in cee-lo, he means he needs a new crack stem YESTERDAY motherfucker! the dice (and the jones) wait for no man, and shit!

i can just see it now. like Puffy sending that motherfucker to get cheesecake. only this time it's the President of the United States (aka Supreme Optimus Prime H.N.I.C. out this bitch) sending him to Southeast, South Southeast D.C. to cop from my boy Pookie.

he does not have it for cheap, so bring some cash asshole. and get me some while you're down there. can you spot me yo? i know, i know. i'll get you back for this and last week on thursday ok? ok? yo? ok? thanks yo. good look.

the second order of business would of course be to outlaw any and all criticism of the aforementioned bama-ass tailpipe whistles. a crime punishable by death. that's right son, BubbRubb don't play! everybody knows that Totalitarian political systems with Draconian punishment structures are like the most gangsterest shit ever!

you may think i'm fucking around, but this shit is real my friend. from the heart. let's keep it real because i'm keeping it real.

the other day, i told an acquaintance that i'd prefer that Obama didn't win the nomination. she looked at me like i was wearing a white hood and holding a noose in one hand and burning a black baby with a blowtorch with the other.

but i'm used to this kind of idiocy, so.

my rationale, of course, is that given the mess made by the Bushmen, whomever is unlucky enough to take the Oval Office on 1.20.09 is shit outta luck.

they will spend their entire term righting the ship, scraping away the refuse, jettisoning the rotting corpses and stillborn foetuses like so much dead weight.

i'd just prefer that our nation's first Black president wasn't mired in such dirty workbusinessstuff.

it doesn't take a visionary to see that should a Black President's administration suffer from relative 'immobilisme' on account of playing itself out of a hole someone else dug, it would be construed as a failure indicative of that leader's capabilities, as defined by his race. thus, for the remainder of this nation's existence, the White House would remain just that. White.

don't play fucking dumb. you know that's how it works.

so yeah. vote BubbRubb/Lil Sis in 2008. if you love America, that is. you do love America, don't you?