You Prefer Ko-Kaine, Dance Like A Ma-Chine

That Motherfucker Mr. Machine...

You set the fire in me, you sonofabitch.
What with your wild-ass whistle and your wacky wind-up action, your gears and your tears,
I knew him well kids.

This was in the Land Before Time, you see.
Or should I say the Land Before (Teenage Mutant Ninja)Turtles?
Back when Ideal Toy Co. and Mattel had shit on lock in the Realm Of KASAI.

Playmates and their wares would come a bit later,
Much like another set of Playmates and their silicate wares would revolutionize my physiology years later.

And while we're at it, if I were able to hop, skip, and jump to Way Back When,
I wonder if young buck KASAI would appreciate my analogue...

Eagerly awaiting the Magic Eight Balls' opinion on whether or not tender little Deirdre Smith liked me liked me...

and.

Eagerly awaiting the arrival, on the verge of tears, standing on the stoop of a Baltimore rowhome, wondering how much longer deadly little Donte would be with the Magic Eightball I overpaid for.

ahhh...

Mattel.

My old man once told me that for a time during the "Vietnam-era",
the toymaker sourced various parts of the M-16 to gun maker Colt.
Gats were fragile, misfiring pieces of shit, inferior to the AK in virtually every way.

I wonder if one of my G.I. Joes was made in the same mold that one day fabricated the trigger guard to a gook-killing boomstick... hmmm... makes ya wonda... Mr. Machine in the Killing Fields?

Timmy said you can tell a true war story by how grotesque it is. yeah.

Even the true stories ain't.

Can't believe everything you hear.
But you can certainly relieve all that you fear!
Just take 500 of these and I'll call you in the morning.
I promise baby.

Say au revoir to that long face babydoll!
Fancy-free and flat-out fucken fantastic