It's Like Getting Your Ninth Telemetron After You've Lain Out In The Sun Too Long and Your Shoulder's Fucked, But Everything Just Makes Sense. Ironic

kasai (10:54:24 PM): p.s. i was just "smoking with the band"
friend (10:54:32 PM): hahashaha
kasai (10:54:32 PM): i'm soooo stoned
friend (10:54:41 PM): hahahahahahhaa


kasai (10:57:47 PM): it's pathetic how high i just got
kasai (10:57:51 PM): i'm like ashamed


kasai (10:58:02 PM): i feel like i'm literally in 8th grade


friend (10:58:09 PM): hahaha
kasai (10:58:16 PM): i'm wearing this big allover print hoodie and a zoo york shirt



kasai (10:58:27 PM): and looking at my bank account and wondering where it all went
kasai (10:58:28 PM): haha
kasai (10:58:42 PM): just resisting the urge to go to cyn [the bar i spent 15 consecutive hours in a few sundays ago -.ed]


kasai (10:58:43 PM): haha
kasai (11:00:23 PM): and the lenny kravitz glasses are on.


kasai (11:00:24 PM): here we go
kasai (11:00:33 PM): ps i'm taking the plunge and getting a macbook wed [haha what? -.ed]

working... working...

[picture is introduced by Kasai]


kasai (11:01:54 PM): the girl is like "i'm just gonna slouch over here cuz there's no way i can compete with THAT!"
kasai (11:01:55 PM): haha
kasai (11:02:42 PM): "like are you kidding, it's a maserati mc12 corsa. get the fuck outta heah!"
kasai (11:02:54 PM): "go fuck your mutha!"


friend (11:04:53 PM): 'haha
kasai (11:04:59 PM): ohhhh. i'm on a roll
kasai (11:05:10 PM): that's literally what she's saying in that photo
kasai (11:05:33 PM): she probably did like the blue steel catwalk thing, draping herself over the long, sensuous hood, for like 15 min


kasai (11:05:47 PM): and then realized that not ONE SINGLE GUY was looking at her


kasai (11:05:52 PM): or even close to her
friend (11:06:02 PM): hhahahah
friend (11:06:11 PM): i used to see that all the time [Ibid.]
kasai (11:06:30 PM): see what
kasai (11:06:35 PM): spot run?


friend (11:07:18 PM): seen girls do that


kasai (11:07:29 PM): oh yeah
kasai (11:07:31 PM): but
kasai (11:07:34 PM): this car
kasai (11:07:37 PM): like 2 mil


kasai (11:07:55 PM): and you can only drive it when maserati sponsors these racetrack days
kasai (11:08:35 PM): then after you're done driving, you have to sit down with engineers and discuss how the car performed, how it could be improved, and what you hated most about


kasai (11:08:38 PM): it
kasai (11:08:40) and there's only like 4 of em and they belong to the 4 richest kings of Europe! I'M SUPER SERIÅL YOU GUYS!
kasai (11:08:41 PM): haha i'm sorry
kasai (11:08:47 PM): all this just really fascinates a stoned kasai


kasai (11:11:34 PM): (spoken in that quick, nasally 1930s radio announcer voice) "a rare breed, the stoned kasai can often be spotted on epicly toxic 3 night benders in any one of the five fine boroughs of the majestic gem that is Glimmerin' Gotham. though he may ramble on incessantly and shoot you the deuce now and then, when he pinches your girl's ass and punches you out preemptively, don't take it personally chief."


kasai (11:12:01 PM): ps i'm archiving this convo
kasai (11:12:04 PM): cuz it's priceless, like a beer bong
“friend” signed off at 11:12:06 PM.
bye. byeeee. bye. byeye. buhbyebooptit! bai. bahhhh. late. the moops have come hoome to roost.





epilogue

1: "sir, sir! SIR! needtaseasumeyedeepreese!"

2: "yeah don't worry about it, i'm a stoo-dye at the scrole, over on mashmen, they got a good whim over there, it's peeshable, nite right?. yeah yeah yeah yeah right up there on the hirl. now uh, go shit in a hat, mail it your mutha."

MEANWHILE, IN THE BOY BAND: ONE sulks away in gleeful shame as TWEW triumphantly scratches his balls.