JIF or Die! or, "An Ode To JIF. and peanut butter in general, i mean it's really quite delicious. unless you have an allergy. then it's deadly!"

i love JIF! moms love JIF! kids love JIF! the president loves JIF man! on his pretzels. i'm eating a spoon of JIF as i write this! i love it! i'm eating a spoon of JIF, watching mature porn for inspiration. i'm a fat fuck. i'm a sick, fat fuck. i love JIF!